Sunday Akinbulejo

HOW TO DEAL WITH ANGER IN A RELATIONSHIP

Anger is one of the fastest ways to lose credibility, respect and opportunities.

Sometimes, the anger is justified.

Your partner might provoke you, disrespect you or try to take advantage of your love.

I know anger in a relationship that is completely normal, it's a sign that something matters to you.

The key of this post isn't to eliminate anger but learning to express and process it in a way that brings you closer rather than creating distance.

This is by understanding what really happened.

When you feel angry with your partner , there's usually something bigger beneath the surface.

Anger often masks many things like,hurt,fear, disappointment or maybe feeling unheard.

Now, before reacting, pause and ask yourself : "What am I really upset about?.
What needs of mine aren't being met?"

This self-awareness is the foundation.

Now TIMING really matters when solving anger issues.

One of the biggest mistakes people make when trying to solve issues is being flooded with emotions.

When your heart is racing and you feel the heating rising all you need to do is calm down and let the tension down, it's really okay to leave right at them and give time to cool down.

This isn't avoiding the issues : it's being responsible with your emotions.

How you express anger changes things.

Instead of yelling or snapping. Take a walk to calm down your head.

Sit down and talk about it , release it, don't burn bridges in the process.
Listen even when you are upset.

This is hard but crucial ; Your partner's perspective is just as valid as yours, even when you are angry.

Anger can make us certain we're right and they are wrong.But relationships aren't about winning arguments.

They're about understanding each other, asking questions.

Your anger might feel like strength but true strength is controlling.

Most people who last longer in relationships or marriage are those who stay calm in the room and play the long game.

So, next time when your partner is trying to provoke you, ask yourself:

Is this really worth arguing!

_Omoniye Opeyemi writes from Igbokoda._